a little consistency.
It's all we need.

muse

Have you ever wondered how people can ever find the urge to kill themselves? To cut themselves?

I do. All the time.

And as now im waiting for the hypothetical axe to fall on my neck, its not hard to see how or why they can.

I remember the pain of last year. The insecurities were felt and when it finally came, the pain was tremendous. It was a wake up call for me.


I admit, at that time, i even thought of suicide. The sweet release of everything.
Everything would be over. No more disappointment. No more anger. No more sadness.
When something you hope for doens't go your way; suddenly you can't see what you have, you only see what's missing.


It's like if i rip a 2cm hole in the mona lisa, you won't see the tremendous artwork that leornado da vinci put in centuries ago. Instead you see that tiny bit of imperfection.

At that point I wasn't afraid of death. Definitely not. I was afraid to live. I was afraid of picking myself up and keep myself going. I had built such great dreams and i was on the brink of fulfilling it with team NJC. And they were shattered.

Again i bet Kang chiang will bitch about how much of an emo boy i am and ask me to snap out it. But hey, emo's been around for ages. It was called angst till the ah bengs couldn;t spell it and called it emo.

emo is just a way of saying fuck you to the world.

bliss

We beat NJC!!!!
2-1 is the final score.
The final friendly and we gave it our best.
This momentum is invaluable and we need to ride on it.

I cant remember celebrating so fanatically. ever.




Kudos to all who gave their best.
This year, is OUR year.

ARGH!

block test. bad.
tomorrow is training =D

I'm yours

Well you you've done done it and you bet i felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so HOT that i melted
I fell right through the cracks
and i'm trying to get back

Before the cool down run out i'll be giving it my bestest
And nothing's gonna stop me but divine intervention
I reckon its again my turn
to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate
no more, no more
It cannot wait
I'm yours (:

satisfaction

This post rounds up a week of non-stop chasing of a certain ball around large expanses of grass. This has been a most satisfying week.


Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.





For the last 4 days, i did.
Even if i don't make it, i did.


On a more pragmatic note, im gonna fuck up my block test so badly its not even funny.






EDIT:
The first is an edited picture. But still...... What has single-sex education done to these young minds?

oh no

Yesterday's training session was quite possibly the worst training session i have ever partaken in. I'm not even surprised if i got cut.

This fear of failure is something that is threatening to destroy me. Every move i make i am hesitant of putting a step wrong and my brain commands "Don't do that!" and instantly i make an idiotic mistake.
FUCK FUCK FUCK.

This sucks.

indescribable

My junior class made it. The appeals and all.
This rounded up a much dramatic and emotional week whereby there was tears and painful (false) goodbyes, with the cliched promises to stay in touch. oh well.


I'm really glad 07s68 managed to stay on. I have come to warm to them as fun-loving junior class; Compared to classes stocked of IP people, they are a breath of fresh air.









come on team; play your heart out.

tonight i wanna cry

Cause i've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And i thought being strong meant never losing my self control
And I've just felt the pain
to hell with my pride
let it fall like rain
from the stars
Tonight I wanna cry.
-Keith Urban